Pezrealian

I find it hard to enjoy my daily cup of coffee these days after hearing something absurdly disturbing this weekend.

Sunday morning, NPR news, Terry Gross-interviews Douglas Emlen about something gross. Dung beetles and how cockroaches infest pre-ground coffee vats and get ground up with the beans then get packaged and shipped to your work place or home then finally gets brewed for your drinking pleasure. Hmmm, good microscopic roach legs.

This is really bad. I drink coffee like it was cool-aid on a hot Houston summer day. Or I drink coffee like I have to each morning. I'm now seriously considering buying a miniature coffee bean grinder to have on the corner of my desk to grind my own bits each morning. I'm sure my silent cubby neighbors won't mind the 80 decibel noise at 6:30 am. Here's a little story: I used to live below people who religiously vacuumed every night at 11 pm and I didn't mind it. People understand why people do crazy things. So yeah, I'm making my own right here in my cubicle people. Green aprons, jazzy background music & club chairs all within a space of 12' x 12' is okay with management right?

Actually as I write this I'm sipping on a cup of coffee. But I think this news changes everything. The coffee industry needs to change their whole marketing strategy. You know those commercials where everybody wakes up to the smell of coffee brewing? The maker of Jo is shown with his face in an open bag of coffee grounds taking a huge whiff of the good stuff and we all want a cup of coffee too? Instead I think Folders should implant a sense of security into the minds of the devoted by showing an inspector crawling the base of vats before a truckload of whole beans is dumped then stamping the screen with THIS VAT IS ROACH FREE! then cut to me in my cubicle feeling better about life drinking coffee. Or I should send our engineering friends at Mythbusters an inquiry to do a show about whether this is plausible or just a horrible myth.

I've now finished my cup of Jo and I feel fine.

**UPDATE 05/13/09**

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